I’m not exactly sure where to start, and yet, I feel like I already have.
I want so badly to know you, to let you know me; and to allow you that place in my heart where true friendship, love, trust and safety can flourish.
His love, my love for him, changes many things -- some things that I used to find fulfilling no-longer have the same buzz, other directions open up.
With love and attachment and intense joy also come new fears as I worry for his health and well-being and happiness.
Extra rings around me, just like measuring the age of a tree.
Only this weight measures pain, disappointment, broken trust, abused “love”, and the fear and dread of a touch, whether physical or emotional.
In some ways I feel more intensely myself than I have ever felt free to be before. mind, soul, all of me, with being alive, being me and Loving intensely.All of my adult life I would add a ring here and there, rings would come, and rings would go, but always going back to the idea that the more rings I had, the less people would want to be close to me; and If for some reason they did, there would be all that space between them and my heart. There would be no way they could penetrate all those rings.